It’s assumed by the female species that most djs do nothing but search for music and take girls home from the club. While there are those among our ranks that deserve this distinction, the fact of the matter is actually hooking up with girls while you are djing is not as easy as some might think. So, for those of you that are new to the game, here are 4 rules for getting the girl at the gig:
* we do have female readers so I hope they will see this post as funny, and not offensive :)
Rule #1 You are NOT going to take her home tonight.
Psychologists all agree that you need to spend at least 7 hours with a woman before she will allow you to get anywhere beyond second base. The idea that you, stud-muffin dj, are going to meet a young lass, woo her with your music, and take her home that night is a fable. The club, in reality, is a terrible place to try and pick up a girl – for djs and non-djs alike. Every single woman will concur that in the club environment their guard is up so your chances of getting anywhere are significantly lower. This is a great place, however, to start planting seeds – seeds that could grow into a fertile field of opportunity. Arm yourself with two important tools of the trade which should be wielded discriminately: <
- Your business card – and you might want to try something like this: “Hey – you and your friends seem to like the music quite a lot, shoot me an email and I’ll put you on the guest list next time I’m playing”. This non-threatening approach offers her something helpful and makes it sound like you could care less either way.
- Drink tickets. It’s my opinion that giving drink tickets to girls that are having fun, dancing, and making the party more enjoyable is just good dj policy. However, it is also a great icebreaker and a way to make contact. You might want to try: “You guys look like you are having fun, here, go enjoy a drink on me.”
Rule #2 Not all requests are bad
After ten odd years of club djing, I have developed a fail proof methodology for dealing with the inevitable request. It involves two important parts: SMILE and NOD. You dont actually need to say anything because smiling and nodding can be interpreted however they want it to. Usually, with enough smiling and nodding, a young lady will assume that you will play the horrible song she’s asked for and go away happy to leave you alone for the rest of the night. This moment, however, is sometimes a missed opportunity. You might consider that almost 50% of girls that come up and request a song don’t actually want a song at all – this is just the only way, in their heavily inebriated state, for them to talk to “the DJ”. So if she requests, literally, the worst song in the universe- it’s probably because it’s the only song she can think of in that cloudy moment. Try to set aside her bad taste and if she’s cute recognize the moment for what it is and get her phone number.
Rule #3 It’s your job
At the end of the day, to remain competitive and get gigs, you are going to have to offer more than just great music. On a local level, this means expanding your network of attractive women that like to go out and listen to your music. Just because you meet a beautiful woman in the club, doesn’t mean you have to take her on a date. You might make a set of business cards listing just your website or ask her to sign up for your email list. Building up a roster of dedicated fans, will absolutely become one of your most valuable assets – but you are not going to build it, if you don’t talk to anyone. So be friendly, flirt with girls (even if you aren’t interested), and if you show that you are having a good time, chances are, they’ll come see you play again.
Rule #4 If you wait until the end of the night, you’ve waited too long.
No girl worth her salt is going to be caught dead waiting around at the end of the night. If you and a hot young vixen catch eyes during your set do yourself a favor: put on a long song, take a needed bathroom break, or find some way to say a little hello, before your set ends. Doing this will greatly increase the remote possibility that she might stick around and talk to you after the show.
I am NOT suggesting that you spend your entire dj set flirting with girls. In these economic times you probably need the job a lot more than you need the girl. But let’s be honest with ourselves, djing is fun for a variety of reasons the social not being one of the least. Music will always come first, but follow these four rules carefully and you might find yourself at the end of the night in possession of napkins with more than just requests on them.